I'm only happy when it RAIIIIINS

At work, regretting drinking  that last cup of coffee not only am i feeling awake ..but now i'm desperately waiting for the clock to strike 2 &  i'm feeling some mild anxiety. I just printed out my tickets to following events.Garbage tonight, Slipknot tmrw night (Slipknot thats a first for me and i don't know what expect ...i'm excited though)  and original Pet Sematary midnight screening tmrw. Today for the first time I feel like the universe is telling me yo calm the fuck down everythings going to be ALRIGHT you got this..everything's slowly falling into place.

Just breathe, my bank account has been taking a beating since December of last year no joke ...but you know what? i'd rather waste my money on all these shows,events etc than have it go to something that isn't gonna make me happy. 

I don't have much to say, but we have about 17 dogs in Daycare and man...i just REALLY REALLY WANNA GO HOME TO TAKE A NAP AND RECHARGE. 

I'm trying to stay away from social media for the next week or so, this whole ANTI- abortion thing is really pissing me off. I saw this piece of art that read "AGAINST ABORTION? HAVE A VASECTOMY" 

and those are my exact thoughts. I feel like instead of going forward we're going backwards on all these things that we use to have freedom on. As a woman, what happens? if you've been raped? now you're forced to keep the baby? what if you CAN'T afford to have a baby ? what if Oopsies happen? they happen ALL the time. 

My friend & i were talking about it last night ? and he said ...can you imagine if THE WHOLE GOVERNMENT WERE WOMEN AND THEY WERE FORCING MEN TO GET VASECTOMIES?

ANYWAY. 

......

I'm sad,I'm excited then baby I've had it.

I'm sitting at work,my friends just brought me coffee...and i of course almost bawled.It's what i dooo...y'all have no idea how much joy i feel.It's like a pick up moment.


Another tiny update from work...gawwwsh I wish i sucked less and started updating this neglected blog more.But lately I can't bring my mind to focus, or sit at home and sit still.There is just so much of me feeling a mix of anxiety & restless.And being up and down,and getting errands done, and i'm walking a lot more to and from work, perhaps working 6 days a week has put me on this get IT AND GO MODE! 
Some of my friends have commented on how it  looks like I've slimmed down....YEAH & just yesterday I joined my friends the Merinos for a movie night  (we went to see LA LLORONA) & I decided to wear my new Bikini kill shirt..did i mention it has a doodle of a dog giving the finger? did i also mention that its a WHITE SHIRT? it's a small in men and it doesn't fit me tight! seeing some slow but good progress ! So yay! 


i have NEWS.
1 - i finished the next story for Slutcake #6 issue if ya haven't ...would you be so kind as to check out @JolieRuin on instagram. You can also find her under @Riotgrrrlpress i believe. Anyway her art and her zines are everything i was missing in my life.I guarantee if ya haven't read one of hers..you should! because like ?  what are you reading at the moment? 

2- I recently saw this post online ...they were asking for zine contributors to this new bikini kill zine! anyone who saw them/will see them.Lucky for me not only did i go to one night ! i went to two! no regrets it was so worth it.I submitted my story so stay tune for that :)  tis was a dream come true <3

3- ROADTRIP BOUND IN TWO WEEKS......CAN ANYONE GUESS WHERE? #Thattourlife

4- I need to update my resume. 

5 - I lost my favorite pair of Sunglasses

Random writings...teeny update from work.

It's finally happened..i'm sick & i sound like a 65 year old lady who probably smoked way too much in the last two decades. Anyway ...I have tons to say I swear but i need to collect my thoughts first...right now all i can think about is my runny nose & Link getting us some burgers from the HABIT ...and and and...going home and napping. 
I actually miss the gym ..haven't been there in the last 4 days and it's now when i start feeling gross and ugh. 
           I do need to talk about going to see Sum 41 & followed by BA the next night,my tiny tantrum and how i'm in a I HATE EVERYONE Mood.But at least Ollie is here..Ollie is this adorable golden Collie mix.He's the best he's always smiling and he's super friendly. Anyway he's my favorite from Daycare...i recently found out he came from Canada..why are the best things from Canada?...The birthday massacre? for example. Also some lady came in today promoting their dog food brand FROM CANADA,What is going on? so I started playing TBM and now i wanna go home and reread Boring Girls just because.That book is one of my happy places. 

Anyway ...I wish I wasn't sick I also wish Cafecito organico was opened later than 6...currently at work doing a 10 hour shift. 

Did you see me fall on Parkman ave?

As much as I love the rain I'm really glad it';s over,I love walking home & the one day that I did attempt to walk in the rain i ate shit..not literally but lets just say I went home with Muddy tights. 

I'm sitting at home watching Ghost World & slightly regretting my haircut,I look like a little boy.

Earlier I found myself at Rite Aid & was met with the horror of the Valentine's day aisle...already? we JUST STARTED THE NEW YEAR.I'm not some bitter Grinch about the holiday.It's just weird? Last time I didn't have a Valentine's was? four years ago.And i'm not about to go on some blind date gah the idea of it is sickening & not in a good way.

Moving on ...I'm just ranting 

Up until today I realized I have nothing exciting to share with anyone, I've been working nonstop all month long & I got some gnarly overtime. Can you believe I've been sober? I haven't had a drink in the last three weeks.It's not like I drink everyday but by now i would've attended a bar or two or purchased a wine bottle. 

The reason is! ~ I've been blowing up my money on rent.cat food & & & SHOWS! oh man the shows are looking fan-fuckingtastic! I am ecstatic.

They go as follows...

Peter Murphy Years of Bauhaus feb 28th ~ yes i hear ya overpriced BUT ? is it really? to hear the godfather of goth play Bauhaus material I think it's worth it. Last i saw him was ink n iron 2015 in Long beach & he was such a treat to watch! & most of all he sounded amazing. 

Ladytron March 1st ~ Fonda theater (these foos have NOT toured in like? 7? 8 years? I've NEVER seen them & I discovered them a few years back on the Beth Ditto Pandora.Talk about being laaaate! 

BLAQK AUDIO ( Davey <3 !!!! & JADE from AFI) MARCH 16TH <---- THIS IS ACTUALLY MY BIRTHDAY SHOW!!!! okay why AM I YELLING? i've always wanted to see AFI on my bday BUT this is just as great ! it's half of AFI and they are releasing a new album March 15th & I've been replaying the heck out of the new song "The Viles" ..I'm almost certain my cats have learned the lyrics to this! Also some of my favorite people are joining me for this & I couldn't be any happier ..what best way to celebrate my 28th year? aka fourth cat life?

She wants Revenge ~ March 30th  Santa Ana observatory 

This might've been kinda like ya know what ? (impulsive buy ?) i wanna see em again fuck it, that and I'm slowly becoming obsessed with these guys. Why haven't they released new material? WHY? 

Lebanon Hanover April 21st okay I've been following this duo for years & every time they would announce a tour it'd be like on the other side of the world.And that happens with a lot of industrial bands there are so many many great ones but they'll never ever play in the US but LUCKILY these two are coming ! and they are playing at the echo so close to my neighborhood. 

Bikini Kill april 25th Hollywood palladium ....so umh? this is the only show I still haven't gotten tickets to ..and it makes me feel a little nauseous...because 1. I REALLY WANNA FUCKING GO! 2. IT'S FRIGGIN BIKINI KILL! 3.EVERY COOL LOOKING FEMINIST WILL BE AT THIS SHOW! 

Bikini Kill are one of those childhood bands that help shape you into the person you're going to become.

there's bound to be a riot...and now the assholes reselling these tickets are going for $150 & up like c'man maaaannn. 

idk how but i'm going to make it happen! 

So thats what my year is looking like so far....

With all that going on I need to make room to squeeze in Monsterpalooza 

reason #1 Gris Grimly one of my all time faves is doing a meet & greet. 

& I've never been this is the ultimate horror nerd event! 

Beside entertainment,I'm working on a zine ( that is taking me eternity to finish but i've given myself a deadline) 

& seeing the San Diego Zinefest happening again this year i'd like to book a spot,for that one and also the one in Tijuana. 

Those are my goals this year. 

I'll be sharing some entries on my next blog.

Till next time. 

My friend Wanda.

My friends are cartoon characters

Short entry for a productive,Charlie Brown kinda day.This week has possibly been the most tiring & long.I woke up at 5 am today...yep 5 fucking Am just to get ready,not complaining about my opening shift (actually really thankful because im ALWAys stuck closing it's such a bummer but not today! Which meant I got to run errands & catch up on reading ...this is what it's like to have a life!!!!)  but I WAS stuck walking to work.Its 25 minutes if I power walk it,but at 7 am sun is barely rising & it's 50 degrees out.So there I was hauling ass to get there on time. Blasting ladytron on the headphones which btw I got my ticket to see them march 1st show cause fuck yeah I have to at least see them once!
I got a message from Wanda on the gram that read "Chibi I got you coffee" I almost cried!!!
One because I had completely forgotten that I was working with Wanda & two coffee!!!!!!!!!
I use to work with Wanda in the studio City location she was such a chill gal. She was that one cool looking feminist with short black hair,& her skeleton hairclips.She was Always in her own little world.Coming out of daycare carrying her 300 page books & coffee cup.Anyway I saw some of myself in her...when I was 22 that is. I get to the store and she gets off her cool tiny car,sporting doc martens ...total Enid Coleslaw man! & she hands me this yummy looking drink...for ME?!? Are you for real?!?
Horchata coffee!!!!!

She is full of horror stories from the studio City location, which I'm thankful I don't work there anymore!
Praise Satan!
But as shes telling her stories her face expressions are priceless & her hand gestures are everything! Hence why i referenced charlie brown ....shes a character!

The day went by really smooth,Roxy got there,began her bathing shift. Why cant every day be like this? Everything went well,no asshole customers.We were good on our time & daycare was mellow.

Wanda gave me a ride home,shared a fuckboy experience with me.She taught me new words "dickppointment" wtf dude .
11pm-1 am are fuckboy hours whaaaaa?!? It's a whole other language.A lot has changed since I've been single.im so behind but she shared her wisdom on the subject....jeez.
Wanda knows y'all.

Mouse day.

...The same week of Sandy Eggo,the co -workers & I had a very special trip planned to Disney California for employee appreciation day. (You can only imagine how much my bank account was hating me!) My co-worker Roxy & I had never been so it was kindaaaa of a big deal ...I mean whatever. Anyway we were stoked the only thing that went wromg was our manager not being able to make it because her car was having issues :(

WE FOUND OURSELVES THERE SUPER EARLY... READY TO FACE OUR FEARS & bring out our inner childhood.The air was filled with that lovely churro scent & the sweet aroma coming from the cafe ....oh i could've fainted right there & then.

Before I continue you must know I don't do crazy  rides... specially the ones were you find yourself upside down...uh noooo.

But I wanted to get on the ferris wheel ..& Roxy was not Having it so we made a deal get on the ferris wheel & I will get on the incredibles ride.How bad can it be?!? ...

This is from inside the ferris wheel cart...I will confess once we were up really high I wanted to panic.And looking over at Roxy didn't help she had her back pack open ready to puke if needed. 

Lucky for us we sat next to this lovely couple who later assured me they both wouldn't do the incredicoaster.I was officially freaking out.We grabbed a beer before dying time. I finished my beer & looked over at the damn thing ...do I really have to get on it Roxy?!? Yes...I got on the ferris wheel she says.So with sweaty palms & a frown on my face we made line for it ...fml.

The outcome I passed out ...& The parademics arrived shortly.

.. kidding I did close my eyes for most of the ride.I have no clue how fast we were going but when the person is next to you laughing & screaming it felt like an eternity.

The last few seconds I shouted over to her "I'm going to kill you for making me get on this!" 

Once off,safe on the ground I thanked the universe for getting me through that. Did we just get on that?!? Roxy! I'm in one piece holy shit!!!! 

"Let's do it again" she says...

Da fuk I ain't....the only way to convince me is another beer & a churro & even then it's not a guarantee. 

                        Winter Michelada

One of my favorites was cars land,it was such a fun ride & I can clearly understand why the wait to this is 60 plus minutes. The scenery & detail is simply breathtaking. It was one of the few that didn't have me shitting bricks. 

         

The Disney workshop wins though! We got to draw one of my ALL-TIME favorite characters Sally from the nightmare before Christmas.Like Roxy said this was meant for you! It was so relaxing & the guy giving the class was ador-ABle. 

As night approached ...we had one big ride left on Roxy's list. The guardians of the Galaxy ride...once there looking high up at the building i freaked. "Umh...yeah I think I will wait for you out here .. this is where I draw the line" But nontheless she convinced me ..worst mistake! 

Our manager had told us this was her favorite ride ...so maybe its not that bad ...boy where we wrong.

There's not JUST one drop ...there's multiple!!!! I mean your ass is literally off the damn seat. At the end it takes you all the way to the top & there's a tiny window that opens to show you the view of the city...and you think awww wow so beautiful...& then you drop. I was unprepared & ended up holding hands with a complete stranger & after it was over he proceeds to ask me "are you okay?" Looking rather concerned.Boy...was I embarrassed....:) Don't get me started on how I came out on the damn photo..it's hidden evidence! 

To end this adventure....it was a great experience.It had me feeling young again.I will definitely be back for the workshop class & the kiddie rides.Thanks to Roxy for keeping up with my scaredy cat self. Till next time Disney. 

Sandy Eggo & their most creepiest attraction? The Whaley house!

The following day Tuesday Morning still feeling like it was Monday night & did we really see AFI LAST NIGHT? did we really hang out with Adam and Hunter after the show? eh..check out is at 11:30 ...gah I forgot what its like to be this sore from a show it's a good feeling :) I really wish there was a night 2! I would do it all over again! 

As we left the hotel I was saddened to see that the kitty from last night was no longer there ... *sigh* Anyway luggage went in the trunk and we stormed into the streets of San Diego in search for something to photograph,a story to tell, or simply just something different to see that we wouldn't find in LA or Lancaster. We were set on the Whaley house,a cemetery and some other things going on

.We came across some pretty cute but overly expensive souveneirs! WHY? $10 dollars for this?! I'd rather get me a cup of joe & still have money left over. 

San Diego you are ALL about cats,I see here....stuff like that made me miss MY cats..as i silently weeped every time no one was watching.I wonder what they're doing right now? ..ok ok FOCUS.

So there it was The Haunted Whaley House,it was almost as if it was daring us to come in,I didn't think it was spooky when we were standing from the outside,maybe because it was broad daylight had i been there at dark? then maybe i would think twice. We took the famous Instagram shot,or the thousand dollar shot.And we walked right in to the gift shop ...oh this IS IT? not creepy at all pffft i got this.It wasnt till we stepped foot in to the court house that I felt the air really stuffy,the vibe changed and I was like " OKAY i see you Whaley house" total Alyssa Edwards style! I put my phone away and i read the paper they handed to us."What the fuck is going on in here on this day?!"

We then headed to my favorite part,and the cutest room i thought was the checkered floor kitchen oh how cute! The cauldrons,the way the broom stick was placed,the pumpkins i could see myself baking a cake in there.Unfortunately we could only take photos through a window we couldn't step foot inside and that kinda bummed me out.

We made our way upstairs as my ancient friend was mumbling about how dangerous these stairs where and what if a child were to fall over? calm down city inspection he then proceeded to try to punch the staircase to see if it was still sturdy. All this while i'm growing nauseous ...gawwwd  quit ya whining pops!

  The Theater room another classic,this is where it gets even more interesting.

So ...we walked in took pictures,i took some classic photos of b2 that perhaps he shall never share with the world.He took a seat because you know ? being as ancient as he is.*Ahem* Then I took a seat right across on the other aisle I sat there staring at the stage wondering what it'd be like to watch a show here? Then I felt someone tap me on my lower back,i turned my friend's still sitting on the other side.I wasn't scared I didn't think anything of it at the time. We took a look at the other rooms.

 I found the children's bedroom a little uneasy, that little doll on the tiny bed......creepy right? Uhhh...next!

This was the last room we saw,fancy looking living room right? 

I almost forgot to mention the ladies working the gift shop and tour were dressed in Victorian era dresses.One of them was super chatty & had a ton of stories to share with us...I mean c'mon she works in a haunted house! There's bound to be crazy experiences.She talked about how one time she walked into a meeting in the courtroom,also how shes heard children laughing in the hallways.Big heavy footsteps upstairs,and how she once saw the family dog in one of the rooms. I stood there speechless,but then she made an interesting point & I don't know if it's going to make sense to any of you but she said there's no such thing as ghosts. She says it all has to do with time,slipping  into the past in a different dimension.At least that's what I got from it...which made perfect sense to me..

And after that it made me feel a little better.

I'll end it with the final note,if you're ever in San Diego don't forget to check out the Haunted Whaley house it's a must experience! I promise.